In Medias Res
by Lauren Rae
Summary: Doggett and Reyes have a slight disagreement and end up thinking about their current situations "in the middle of things." Please R/R!


Disclaimer: Doggett and Reyes belong to Chris Carter, 1013, Fox, not me, etc…  
  
Spoilers: None really  
  
Archive: Sure, just let me know.  
  
Notes: This was another one of those "two in the morning" stories, so I hope that it turned out well. I just felt like doing a character "interpretation" of sorts. I really like the "thoughts" of Doggett and Reyes in this story. In Medias Res is the Latin phrase for "in the middle of things." The parts between the *** (stars, hehe) are Doggett and Reyes' thoughts. Ok that's it! Enjoy the story and please leave a review. ^_^  
  
XXXXXXXXXX  
  
Another day...another bunch of cases to file away and write reports on. The day, which happened to be Friday, had been long and hectic so far. Too long...and two agents were becoming rather irritated with the work. Monica Reyes tossed a case file to her partner, John Doggett. "I have a strange feeling about this one. Maybe we should reopen it. Something's telling me that there's more to this than meets the eye." "No, no, no. Don't tell me that you've had a vision or something." "Well, actually..." "Monica, that stuff isn't real. You can't tell me that you can solve a case by going along with a feeling or a vision." "You know that I have before." "Can't you ever use logical reasoning?" "Can't YOU ever open your mind to the truth?" "The truth is that we don't need to reopen this case file. It's over. It's done." Reyes took the file back, her eyes flashing with anger for a moment. "All right, fine. It's over. It's done." "Monica..." "No, John, you're right." Reyes sat down at her desk and looked away from him momentarily. "I don't know why I put up with this," she muttered. "With what?" Doggett asked, his tone one of frustration. "You're the one with the theories that make no sense." "I'm the one? Whatever, John. I don't need this. I should just leave." "It would make my job a hell of a lot easier!" "Oh, really? Be careful what you wish for!" An uncomfortable silence filled the room... Doggett stared at Reyes. Did she really mean what she said? He had never seen her this angry before. And it was his fault. Meanwhile, Reyes couldn't look at Doggett. In fact, she couldn't look at the case file in her hand. Letting it fall to the floor, she put her head in her hands and sighed. Difficult...he always had to be difficult...  
  
***After all of these years, I ask myself "why?" Why do I put up with him? Why do I defend him? Why is John Doggett so important to me? Why, when he never believes me or my ideas? I joined the X-Files not only for myself, but also for him. My job, no, my life is always in jeopardy. I get so scared sometimes, but I'd never show it. I fear that I might be going crazy…that perhaps I'm breaking apart – like glass - into thousands of tiny shards. Why do I do this to myself? It's because...I feel a dedication to him. It's an endless guilt that has bound me to him and won't let me go. Ever since I met him, ever since I found his son, Luke - murdered. I cried for hours in the days that followed. And I couldn't stop thinking of him. I didn't want to leave him. I just couldn't let John go after that. I believe that he sees things...that he feels things that he's too afraid to admit. Sure, he puts on that hard and cold exterior, but he hurts...his heart aches with the pain of his loss - and maybe other things too. And I feel helpless because there's nothing that I can do - but love him. Love him? Monica, you're completely insane to say that. But yes, I love him. For who he is. We'll never agree on anything, I know. Our lives will always go in an endless circle of disagreement, but we'll forever be connected. I can't let him go. I can't leave him alone. He's worth the effort. Why? Because he's a good man. Honest, just, hardworking. He doesn't deserve the hell that he's been through. Do I put more stress on him? Maybe, and I wish that I didn't, but I can't stop believing in what I feel. Sometimes I wonder what he thinks of me? Could he ever feel for me...like I do for him? No, he has lost too much. I don't want to be another burden to his heart. He'll never see me like I see him. He'll never know what I feel for him. And if he did, he'd never feel the same. Stop yourself, Monica. I love him with all my heart, but I cannot be with him...***  
  
Doggett couldn't stop looking at her. Agent Reyes hadn't moved for a couple of minutes now, but sat, as if trying to collect her thoughts. Now her head snapped up, as if she were coming out of a trance. Doggett immediately diverted his glance back to the file on his desk. Was she still angry? He couldn't figure it out. Why couldn't she ever accept the facts - the hard evidence right in front of her eyes? Difficult, he sighed...she always had to be difficult...  
  
***She's the most free-spirited person that I've ever met. So open to the strangest things. So honest that she's almost innocent. But I know that she's not. I believe that Monica Reyes hurts inside, perhaps almost as much as I do. I know that she's strong on the outside, but she wears her heart on her sleeve - and every case hurts her more. Does she really believe in those "feelings" and "visions?" - oh yeah, she does, and she'll stand up for what she believes in till the end. I met her when she investigated the death of my son, my Luke. Right away she began with "visions" and strange phenomena and whatnot. I couldn't listen to that, it made no sense. On the other hand, something inside told me to believe, but another voice was stronger. I was hurt; I had to shut her ideas out. Excuses for what really happened - that's all that they were. Or were they? Ever since we found Luke, the look in her eyes has changed. Sure, she comes over as confident and happy-go-lucky, but I see her pain. Every time I'm harsh with her, every time I can't bring myself to believe her, the look in her eyes rips my heart out. I wonder if she cries as much as I did. I think...that I'm in love with her. Yes, I, the skeptical John Doggett am in love with the most "out there" woman I know - Monica Reyes. I can't admit it to her, but sometimes I have seen what she claims to have seen. I feel what she feels too. I just can't bring myself to believe. It frightens me. She frightens me. She frightens me because she knows...exactly what I'm feeling. I can't hide from her. And I can't leave her alone, because I fear that I might lose her. I've lost my wife, I've lost my son, and I'm sure as hell not going to lose her. It would be too hard. I need her…her presence reassures me and sometimes even gives me the strength to carry on. I don't know what makes her stay, what stops her from leaving, but she has her reasons... She just looked up at me from across the room. Yes, Monica, this is my promise to you. I won't always agree with you, but I'll protect you. I won't leave you. Damn it, John, you're going to break your own heart. I love her... I love her. I know that cannot be with her. To be with her would be like living in a dream. What's stopping me though? Should I take a chance? One never knows until he tries…***  
  
Time passed quickly and soon it was time for the agents to leave for the day. Reyes got her coat, still refusing to make eye contact with Doggett. She didn't want to speak with him, but needed the time to cool down. Doggett, on the other hand, was not going to allow the silence between them to continue. If it kept up, they'd be arguing forever. "Monica!" He grabbed her arm just as she was about to leave the office. The look on her face was one of confusion. Her eyebrows were raised, as if to say, "Yeah, what do you want?" Doggett was speechless. He couldn't find the words to say what he wanted to say to her. She looked at him, expecting some sort of speech about how she should just see the evidence instead of following visions. "I'm leaving now, John," she said, her voice a little more than a whisper. "I'll see you later." "No," Doggett's voice was a bit strained. "No, don't leave." "What?" Suddenly he was hugging her, tightly. "John?" Though Reyes was shocked, she found herself enjoying the warmth of his embrace. "You can't leave...not until you promise me that you'll be coming back." "What do you mean?" "That you're not going to leave forever." He looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry." She looked away for a moment, but then back at him, a priceless smile on her face. "I'm sorry too. I think that we both got carried away. I can't help it." "Neither...neither can I." "We don't really see eye to eye on many things and I know that. You thought that I would leave because we had a little argument?" "I don't know what to think, I just don't want to lose you. It may not seem like it, but I value your opinions and beliefs no matter how farfetched they may be." "I know." "You...do?" "Uh-huh." Again, Doggett thought, Again she knew. They stood for a few minutes in silence, just enjoying each other's company, and not thinking about anything else. "John," Reyes finally said. "Yeah?" "Um...not to break the moment, but wouldn't it seem a bit strange if someone happened to walk in, and..." "Oh! Yeah I guess so." He broke the hug and stepped back. "Not that anyone ever walks in," he laughed. Reyes grinned. "I'm going home..." "Monica?" "See you on Monday, John. I'm not going anywhere, and you know it. Don't worry so much!" With that, she was gone. Doggett closed the door of the office and locked it slowly. "See you on Monday, Monica..." And John Doggett couldn't help but smile. "I'm not sure what I just did, but... It felt right. As Monica would say, 'Anything is possible.' Perhaps we do have a chance. For the first time in a long time, I feel as if I've done something right..." 


End file.
